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Baptisms, Wedding and Funerals

The registers of St Mary's Church date back to 1553,

recording the births, marriages and deaths of this community

throughout the generations.

► Baptisms   ► Weddings   ► Funerals

► Service of Thanksgiving for the Gift of a Child    ► Confirmation

► Blessing after a Civil Marriage    ► Other Services and Celebrations

What is Baptism?

Baptism is the rite of entry into the Christian Church, and for this reason the traditional

place for the font is by the church door, although as at St Mary's, many churches have

been rearranged to make the font a more focal point.

Baptism is a 'sacrament' - "an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace".

That means it is far more than just a naming ceremony or an opportunity to give thanks

for a new-born life, but an acknowledgement of God's involvement in the candidate's life

(at whatever age) and a celebration of God's saving activity as they grow in faith and

Christian discipleship.

Baptism marks the beginning of a journey with God which continues for the rest of our

lives, the first step in response to God's love. For all involved, particularly the candidates

but also parents, godparents and sponsors, it is a joyful moment when we rejoice in what

God has done for us through Jesus.

Baptism involves a statement of faith, and serious promises are made:

    Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God? I reject them.

    Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil? I renounce them.

    Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour? I repent of them.

    Do you turn to Christ as Saviour? I turn to Christ.

    Do you submit to Christ as Lord? I submit to Christ.

    Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the life? I come to Christ.

In keeping with early Christian practice, the Church of England baptises people at any age,

and those who are too young to answer for themselves are represented by Godparents

or Sponsors. 

The term 'godparent' is used for those asked to present children for baptism and to

continue to support them.  Canon law (the rules governing the Church of England) state that

godparents must themselves have been baptised.  As well as making the above declaration

on behalf of the candidate, godparents make additional promises to encourage the child by

prayer and example.

        Parents and godparents, the Church receives these children with joy.

        Today we are trusting God for their growth in faith.

        Will you pray for them, draw them by your example into the community of faith

        and walk with them in the way of Christ?

        With the help of God, we will.

        In baptism these children begin their journey in faith. You speak for them today.

        Will you care for them, and help them to take their place

        within the life and worship of Christ's Church?

        With the help of God, we will.

        [**Please note that being a godparent does not carry the responsibility of legal guardianship of the child

        concerned in the event of the parent's death]

The term 'sponsor' is used for those who agree to support in the journey of faith candidates

(of any age) for baptism, confirmation or affirmation of baptismal faith. When children who are

old enough to speak are baptized, they also answer the questions in the service along  with

parents and godparents.

Those who are baptised as children are encouraged to be 'confirmed' later in life, and make

the baptismal promises for themselves.  When adults are baptised, they come to Confirmation

 as soon after the baptism as possible.

Having read the information above, especially the promises made by parents and

godparents, you may decide that Baptism is not what you want for your child. 

You may like to think about a Service of Thanksgiving for the Gift of a Child.

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Service of Thanksgiving for the Gift of a Child

The birth or adoption of a child is a cause for celebration.

Many people are overcome by a sense of awe at the creation of new life

and want to express their thanks to God. This service provides an

opportunity for parents and families to give thanks for the birth or adoption of a

child and to pray for family life.

 It may be a private celebration at home or in hospital, or it may be a public

celebration in church, sometimes with a number of children.

This service is not the same as Baptism, which is the sacrament of initiation

into membership of the Church, the Body of Christ. If you are interested in

exploring the Christian faith, or finding out more about preparation for Baptism,

please contact the Parish Office.

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Confirmation

Confirmation marks the point in the Christian journey at when and individual

who has been baptised affirms for themselves the faith into which they have

been baptised, and declares their intention to live a life of responsible and

committed Christian discipleship.

Through prayer and the laying on of hands by the Bishop, the Church also

asks God to give them power through the Holy Spirit to enable them to live in

this way.  Confirmation was originally part of a wider ceremony of Christian

initiation and only became a separate rite when bishops were no longer able

to preside at all baptisms.

Confirmation preparation at St Mary's takes place in small discussion groups

for adults and young people. 

At least twice a year there are Deanery Confirmation Services held locally, led

by one of our Bishops.

If you would like more information about Confirmation, or would like to be part

of a preparation group, please contact the Parish Office.

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Weddings at St Mary's     

► Download St Mary's Wedding Pack as PDFs

A wedding ceremony marks the start of a marriage, and all weddings, 

wherever they take place, are significant. They all mark a public witness

to the love that two people have for each other.

However, a Church wedding makes certain themes clearer:

        +     The fact that the promises are made within a supportive

               community provides a setting in which the marriage can

               be supported and sustained.

        +    The Church building witnesses to the significance of love

               as the very reason for existence. The concept of covenant

               between the couple reflects the  relationship between God

               and the world.

        +    The idea of the ‘sacrament of marriage’ reflects the miracle

              of what God is doing in human lives as you both make the

              promises together in the Church.

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people get married in England.

More than half tie the knot during a religious ceremony which, for 200,000,

about a third of the total, involves the Church of England. It is the most

important day in their lives.  Whether you are a regular churchgoer or not,

getting married in church allows you to make solemn promises to the one

you love, not only in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of

God and with God's blessing.

Marriage, the Bible tells us, is a gift of God in creation and a means of

his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh.

It is God's purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each

other in love throughout their lives, they are united in that love, just as

Christ is united in love with his Church.

A Service of Blessing after a Civil Marriage can take place in any Church. 

 Please note, however, that there are legal constraints on who can marry

at St Mary's (or in any other CofE Parish Church).

    -    at least one of the couple must reside in the parish of

         East Barnet

    -    if neither reside in the parish then at least one of the

         couple must be on the Church Electoral Roll

         (this is different from the Register of Electors)

    -    to qualify for membership of the Church Electoral Roll

         you must attend worship regularly (once a month) for a

         minimum period of six months

    -    when one or both of those being married reside in another

         parish other  than East Barnet, they must arrange for their

         banns to be read in their parish of residence before the marriage

         can legally take place

With thanks to Dax & Judy Eden for use of their wedding photographs - September 2006

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St Mary's Wedding Pack

Once you have booked your Wedding at St Mary's, you will receive a

Wedding Pack, and details of our short Marriage Preparation Course

which takes place in the early part of each year. 

Some of the Pack's contents are here in PDF format for your convenience.

If you need PDF reader software, you can download it free from the

Adobe Reader website.

Practicalities & the Law                                Music & Hymns               

Printing your Order of Service                      Readings: Biblical & Non-                                                                         Biblical       

A Summary of the Service

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Blessing after a Civil Marriage

The Service of Blessing after a Civil Marriage may be used in a variety of ways.

Some couples choose to be married at a Registry Office, and then come to

Church later the same day, or on the next day.  Others may have their marriage

overseas, and then return for a church blessing a few weeks later.  In some cases

the service is used to mark anniversaries, or as a way of renewing marriage vows.

Because there are no civil legalities to be observed in the Blessing Service, there

is a greater degree of flexibility, so services can be tailored to couple's particular

needs and preferences.

With thanks to Rich & Paula Tomlin for use of their Blessing Service photographs - September 2006

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Funerals at St Mary's

► Prayers at a time of Bereavement

God's love and power extend over all creation. Every life, including our

own, is precious to God. Christians have always believed that there is

hope in death as in life, and that there is new life in Christ  over death.....

[from the Pastoral Introduction to the CofE Funeral Service]

All are welcome to use St Mary's Church for funeral services, whether families

have a particular connection with the Church or not.  If you live in East Barnet

parish, St Mary's is your Church.

When arranging a funeral, the first port of call is usually the Funeral Director,

who will then contact the clergy to arrange the service at the Crematorium or

in Church.  However, you may like to approach the clergy direct:

The Revd Richard Watson     (Rector of St Mary's)

Tel:  020 8368 3840

rf.watson@btopenworld.com

The minister conducting the service will arrange a time to visit you at home to

discuss the service and assist in making the necessary arrangements.

If you have not yet contacted a Funeral Director, Churchills Ltd. are in East Barnet

Village, and close to St Mary's and New Southgate Crematorium.

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Prayers at a time of Bereavement

O God, who brought us to birth,

and in whose arms we die,

in our grief and shock contain and comfort us;

embrace us with your love,

give us hope in our confusion

and grace to let go into new life;

through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Risen Lord Jesus,

draw near to us as we walk this lonely road.

Pierce our weary sorrow

and gladden our heavy hearts as you go with us,

and bring us in the end to your heavenly table. Amen.

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Other Services and Celebrations

There is nothing of our lives which is outside of God's love and care for us.

The staff at St Mary's will be happy to discuss special services of prayer and

thanksgiving with you.

In the first instance, please contact:

The Revd Richard Watson     (Rector of St Mary's)

Tel:  020 8368 3840

rf.watson@btopenworld.com

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